26th
Eternity
It will be eternity before we meet again.
Wind sweeps through the wheat fields, swaying their limbs from side to side, uniformly, peacefully. Before I can feel it, I can see it, traveling through the prairie, caressing the flowers, gingerly laying its fingers on every single blade of grass that stands between it and me. Soon, I feel it on my face, the carrier of messages from heaven above, and I hear you.
I hear your gentle whisperings, your giggles, your tears, your disagreements. I hear your tones, your whimpers, how scared you were to face the reaper, and yet how strong you pretended to sound throughout the whole ordeal. I hear your heart calling out to mine, and your heartbeat still working in unison with my own.
When it happened, the wind blew, hard and strong, over anything and everything. Rains came, and I woke deep into the night, listening for any sound of you, any sign that you were with me. Hope had drained out of me like blood from a wound; this would be another restless, sleepless night without you.
And then, there it was- what I had been waiting for the entire time. The rain pelting against my window lulled me to sleep that night, resembling what I could only imagine as your beautiful wings flapping up into heaven to meet God, just as I had prayed for.
How did I know that they were beautiful wings, my love? You always had wings. You were my angel, my guardian angel, my spirit and my hope for a better tomorrow. You were my strength, my optimism, my friend, my blood, my sustenance, my shelter, my protection, my stronghold, my fortress, my heart and my soul.
You were my sister, a practical twin, and through losing you, I have lost an irreplaceable part of myself.
The next morning, I awoke to golden sunlight filtering through my blinds and the callings of birds in the distance. Standing on my front porch as I am now, I looked up into the sky and saw the swans, all flying together, soaring through the sky. Blue and spotless was the summer sky, seemingly open and wide to any possibilities. It was in that moment that I realized that this was your gift to me, the sign you sent me to let me know that you were safe and sound in heaven, watching over me and giving me peace, just as you had done throughout my entire life.
Saudade, my heart- the love that remains. I want to thank you for sharing your heart with the rest of the world, for freely dispersing your good natured soul amongst the shattered ruins of my own, for being the sunshine that warms my skin, for being in my life. I want to thank you for existing and pervading through the cockles of my heart, for picking up the pieces when everything fell apart, and for showing me what love really felt like.
I am not a patient person, my dear, and you know that. Eternity seems like too long to wait, but I would walk to the ends of the Earth and back for you, even now. I will wait, and when I do see you again, I can assure you that I will love you as much as I love you today.
Forever yours, my angel.
